See you soon, and good luck

Shane, key carrier, has been transferred to another store. I will always remember his quick smile and well-balanced sense of humor. He will be missed.

Walking through the produce section after being a cashier (i.imgur.com) submitted 5 hours ago by Ganja_The_Green to /r/funny 803 comments share save hide report

Walking through the produce section after being a cashier (i.imgur.com)

submitted 5 hours ago by Ganja_The_Green to /r/funny

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In Memory of Kevin Buckley

Kevin Buckley (1976-2014) passed away on Dec. 4, 2014.

Kevin always gave the best conversation of any key carrier I have ever met. He had an incisive wit and a wonderful sense of humor, and was always able to speak well on most any subject. He always strived to do the right thing, even when the right thing was not always obvious. I will miss him a lot.

He leaves behind a wife, Norma and two children.

For donation info, email me. Please note, the time frame for donating is necessarily short, avoid waiting if you want to donate anything.

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Bye Steve

(Steve T. has been transferred.)

gb Hannah

Yesterday was Hannah's last day at the store--I will miss her. She was one of the good ones--always bright and cheerful.

I hope we see you again, Hannah. Good luck and all that stuff.

Letter to Lois

Dear Lois,

It was only after continued (and largely fruitless) discussion over a number of issues today that I came to the realization that: you are not mad at me (and have no reason to be angry with anything I have done), but, rather, you're mad at the clown and are unable to effectively respond.

Believe me, I sympathize.

Cheers,
Clark

minion report

Just finished week one of new schedule, and the results do not look promising. It seems as if someone higher up in the corporate chain said something like: the minions aren't working hard enough. This in itself is fine, but it's frustrating to be given slightly conflicting orders toward this goal. For example, one person might say clean this way, and then another person in charge comes along, and thinks he's not working hard enough, let me give him something else to do.

Albertsons (the yo-yo competition)

Albertsons Announces Layoffs

Dummies on parade

Returned last week after a week of vacation. For some, it was as if I had lost valuable IQ points while I was gone. My theory is the people who are under this misconception are the expect-the-worst-believers, and, guess what?: when you expect the worst, many people will merrily and gladly give it to you.

This behavior frustrates expect-the-worst crowd, and, pretty soon, it's treat everyone as if they will give you the worst. What's the drawback?: treat 'em all like dummies, and you will never be disappointed. For me, I do not need a small number of mono-syllabic words, and, you don't have to repeat everything to me 3 or 4 times. All it does is make me wonder if you've lost your mind.

Who are these people (the e/w crowd)? A special non-prize to anyone who guesses correctly; if you prefer to do so privately, message me.

Johnny J.

If this doesn't ignite your sense of outrage, nothing will: LA Deputies On Beating Johnnie Franklin Jones.

Who am I?

A few small riddles (redacted):

I am a dick. [bitch and moan, bitch and moan, etc.]

Who am I?


I am a prisoner of my red-headed friend. [bitch and moan, bitch and moan, etc.]

Who am I?


I am an Asperger's female. I am somewhat rare. The incidence of autism is females is one in 252; versus one in 80 for males. Nevertheless, we occur, and are in the population. [Here is the question of the day: If a person acts crazy, what is your obligation to satisfy/pacify them? Comments welcome--if you prefer, send me an email, and I will mask your identity.]

WAI?

Say a prayer

One of our own was in an auto accident last night. She's in ICU at an unknown hospital--please say a prayer for her.

HB!

Happy Birthday to the Cylon/tl;dr woman--she's an easy 45 years old. ;-)

Shazam

The Cylon/tl;dr woman lost it today. I was in the middle of my first sweep, and she said to me: you don't have to do it, someone just did it. I said: well, yes, I do, and, besides, it will only take me a couple of minutes to finish, anyway. 

When I finished, she said: you're off sweeps, and I thought: Shazam! I have to work hard at sweeps (particularly on a day when spills are rampant) and I would much rather not do them. Things went a lot easier (even though I had to fill in some of the stuff my replacement failed to do.)

So, I lucked out, and the moron helped me (even though it was not her intention, I'm sure.) ;-)

Me and Bobbie McGee

I wish she'd just ball me, and get it over with. ;-)


And, yes, I am speaking of the Cylon woman.

"I took an act-like-an-asshole pill before I came in..."

A young lady came in shortly before we closed looking for a particular brand and type of Mexican cookie. (I sent her to the correct aisle to look.)  A young man who was working Reset for SB, recently arrived for his shift, tried to help--he attempted to take on the role of judge-advocate for said customer, who, incidentally, needed no such help. I mean, if we do not carry the item you are looking for, what good does it do to re-state over and over again what you're looking for? We don't hide merchandise from customers--never, ever.

But the man who thought he was acting like such a stud made SB look bad. There was no way we could completely fill the customer's desire. Yet, he raised her expectations (unnecessarily, and I think she suspected that), and made me and my co-workers look silly. So, the person who took the pill I mention in the title did nothing to help SB or himself. We ended up looking like jerks thanks to him.

We tried (I looked all over the shelves for the particular brand of cookie; it turns out, we simply do not carry it), but the pill-taker?--just running in doing-nothing-useful mode. He spent zero time looking for the item on his own--just doing his asshole act (and, really well, I might add.)

Children of the Corn

This post is dedicated to one young man whom (I hope) is the exception, rather than the rule.

After I had been at work for a while yesterday, someone pointed out a young man we should be watching: 14 to 15 years old, backpack, pimply. In short, a typical (hungry-looking) mid-teen. (They were worried he was going to shop-lift.) After some time, I thought: who the fuck cares? (well, about any potential shop-lifting.)

We should be concerned about:

• why is he alone and unsupervised during the day?
• why the hunger (the unfed look)

Whinge all you want about a Caylee's law, but to me, this is a real Caylee, because we as a society have seriously failed him. And he deserves better.

Presented as an anectodal story that saddens me.

Moron award

What someone said to me today: Can you do the go-backs (merchandise to be returned to the shelves.) 


Muttered: and don't do them one at a time.


[I nominate this as best of the month, possibly most stupid, venal thing I've heard all year. ;-)]