minion report

Just finished week one of new schedule, and the results do not look promising. It seems as if someone higher up in the corporate chain said something like: the minions aren't working hard enough. This in itself is fine, but it's frustrating to be given slightly conflicting orders toward this goal. For example, one person might say clean this way, and then another person in charge comes along, and thinks he's not working hard enough, let me give him something else to do.

Albertsons (the yo-yo competition)

Albertsons Announces Layoffs

Dummies on parade

Returned last week after a week of vacation. For some, it was as if I had lost valuable IQ points while I was gone. My theory is the people who are under this misconception are the expect-the-worst-believers, and, guess what?: when you expect the worst, many people will merrily and gladly give it to you.

This behavior frustrates expect-the-worst crowd, and, pretty soon, it's treat everyone as if they will give you the worst. What's the drawback?: treat 'em all like dummies, and you will never be disappointed. For me, I do not need a small number of mono-syllabic words, and, you don't have to repeat everything to me 3 or 4 times. All it does is make me wonder if you've lost your mind.

Who are these people (the e/w crowd)? A special non-prize to anyone who guesses correctly; if you prefer to do so privately, message me.

Johnny J.

If this doesn't ignite your sense of outrage, nothing will: LA Deputies On Beating Johnnie Franklin Jones.

Who am I?

A few small riddles (redacted):

I am a dick. [bitch and moan, bitch and moan, etc.]

Who am I?


I am a prisoner of my red-headed friend. [bitch and moan, bitch and moan, etc.]

Who am I?


I am an Asperger's female. I am somewhat rare. The incidence of autism is females is one in 252; versus one in 80 for males. Nevertheless, we occur, and are in the population. [Here is the question of the day: If a person acts crazy, what is your obligation to satisfy/pacify them? Comments welcome--if you prefer, send me an email, and I will mask your identity.]

WAI?

Say a prayer

One of our own was in an auto accident last night. She's in ICU at an unknown hospital--please say a prayer for her.

HB!

Happy Birthday to the Cylon/tl;dr woman--she's an easy 45 years old. ;-)

Shazam

The Cylon/tl;dr woman lost it today. I was in the middle of my first sweep, and she said to me: you don't have to do it, someone just did it. I said: well, yes, I do, and, besides, it will only take me a couple of minutes to finish, anyway. 

When I finished, she said: you're off sweeps, and I thought: Shazam! I have to work hard at sweeps (particularly on a day when spills are rampant) and I would much rather not do them. Things went a lot easier (even though I had to fill in some of the stuff my replacement failed to do.)

So, I lucked out, and the moron helped me (even though it was not her intention, I'm sure.) ;-)

Me and Bobbie McGee

I wish she'd just ball me, and get it over with. ;-)


And, yes, I am speaking of the Cylon woman.

"I took an act-like-an-asshole pill before I came in..."

A young lady came in shortly before we closed looking for a particular brand and type of Mexican cookie. (I sent her to the correct aisle to look.)  A young man who was working Reset for SB, recently arrived for his shift, tried to help--he attempted to take on the role of judge-advocate for said customer, who, incidentally, needed no such help. I mean, if we do not carry the item you are looking for, what good does it do to re-state over and over again what you're looking for? We don't hide merchandise from customers--never, ever.

But the man who thought he was acting like such a stud made SB look bad. There was no way we could completely fill the customer's desire. Yet, he raised her expectations (unnecessarily, and I think she suspected that), and made me and my co-workers look silly. So, the person who took the pill I mention in the title did nothing to help SB or himself. We ended up looking like jerks thanks to him.

We tried (I looked all over the shelves for the particular brand of cookie; it turns out, we simply do not carry it), but the pill-taker?--just running in doing-nothing-useful mode. He spent zero time looking for the item on his own--just doing his asshole act (and, really well, I might add.)

Children of the Corn

This post is dedicated to one young man whom (I hope) is the exception, rather than the rule.

After I had been at work for a while yesterday, someone pointed out a young man we should be watching: 14 to 15 years old, backpack, pimply. In short, a typical (hungry-looking) mid-teen. (They were worried he was going to shop-lift.) After some time, I thought: who the fuck cares? (well, about any potential shop-lifting.)

We should be concerned about:

• why is he alone and unsupervised during the day?
• why the hunger (the unfed look)

Whinge all you want about a Caylee's law, but to me, this is a real Caylee, because we as a society have seriously failed him. And he deserves better.

Presented as an anectodal story that saddens me.

Moron award

What someone said to me today: Can you do the go-backs (merchandise to be returned to the shelves.) 


Muttered: and don't do them one at a time.


[I nominate this as best of the month, possibly most stupid, venal thing I've heard all year. ;-)]

Reset observation

Reset Crew: a group of people who come in to do a major move of merchandise, usually not part of the regular employees.

Personal observation: reset men and women almost always look and act like a bunch of carnies. They keep to themselves, are generally unfriendly and unsociable--maybe it goes with the territory. After all, they have no opportunity to bond or form long term relationships with anyone except themselves. But they sure are a nasty bunch.

If someone said to me: want to join reset?, I would ask: who I did I piss off. ;-)

Anastasia

This is difficult for me, but I want to get it on record:

A few nights ago, Anastasia and I locked horns. It was not pleasant: I arrived at work, and she announced: I need you to stay up front. I nodded, and proceeded to do what she asked. but it seemed nothing I could do could or would please her.

It wasn't until much later in the evening that I realized: this woman was acting like a bitch (only at this time, and God knows for what reason (I have my suspicions but email me if you want to discuss)--because she could act as a bitch (and wanted to), later in the evening, it was all sweetness and light, as if nothing had happened.))

Is this morally reprehensible? IMHO, you betcha--the reason for this post.

So, Anastasia: Fuck You. Please don't ever give me the chance to return the favor, because I will--in spades.

[Want to know real names?--no problem, just email me. ;-) ]

Inadvertently stupid product names

Bimbo Bread

News

We had a unsuccessful hit-and-run in the parking lot--we prevented him from leaving.

A customer had an apparent stroke (or diabetic event--we don't know) in the store. Emergency was called, and we assume she is OK. I was a little afraid the woman was going to die on me, but even though she was in some distress, it did not appear life-threatening. But, I am not a health care pro.

For the still alive woman, Johnny X and Brian Hood:

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

2010-Feb-05: update: Cathy (the customer) was in the store yesterday, and is doing fine.

The Two Princesses and the Groomsman

A Fairy Tale
Any resemblence to real life people is strict coincidence.

There once were two princesses: there names were Princess Sin and Princess Soak. They endeavored to run the palace as best they could but there was one problem: they constantly picked on a handsome groomsman called Everyman. This harassment puzzled Every, because he was having trouble understanding why they would do this.

He knew Princess Sin had recently emerged from a bad relationship, and he suspected (but he didn't know) she confused him with the person she was trying to break up with. Princess Soak, on the other hand, probably had not been in a relationship in a number of years, and had a weight problem. None of this had anything to do with the groomsman, but he was increasingly convinced that this is what occasionally drove the two ladies.

tbc

"Go'way, lazy old man."

That's what I was told today by a coworker, a;lkjdf;ajfd (name not published, email me if you're interested.) This was the end of a discussion we were having about a problem he had with me not being there when he felt I should be. Instead of talking about it, he chose to call me names, and a particularly insulting one, at that.

So, here's my answer: I hope your father or grandfather are never treated as disrespectfully as I was.

RIP: Alfonso Lopez

(Courtesy Clerk.) He went into the hospital in December, and never came out.

Me and the lady who has no time...

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