Shazam

The Cylon/tl;dr woman lost it today. I was in the middle of my first sweep, and she said to me: you don't have to do it, someone just did it. I said: well, yes, I do, and, besides, it will only take me a couple of minutes to finish, anyway. 

When I finished, she said: you're off sweeps, and I thought: Shazam! I have to work hard at sweeps (particularly on a day when spills are rampant) and I would much rather not do them. Things went a lot easier (even though I had to fill in some of the stuff my replacement failed to do.)

So, I lucked out, and the moron helped me (even though it was not her intention, I'm sure.) ;-)

Me and Bobbie McGee

I wish she'd just ball me, and get it over with. ;-)


And, yes, I am speaking of the Cylon woman.

"I took an act-like-an-asshole pill before I came in..."

A young lady came in shortly before we closed looking for a particular brand and type of Mexican cookie. (I sent her to the correct aisle to look.)  A young man who was working Reset for SB, recently arrived for his shift, tried to help--he attempted to take on the role of judge-advocate for said customer, who, incidentally, needed no such help. I mean, if we do not carry the item you are looking for, what good does it do to re-state over and over again what you're looking for? We don't hide merchandise from customers--never, ever.

But the man who thought he was acting like such a stud made SB look bad. There was no way we could completely fill the customer's desire. Yet, he raised her expectations (unnecessarily, and I think she suspected that), and made me and my co-workers look silly. So, the person who took the pill I mention in the title did nothing to help SB or himself. We ended up looking like jerks thanks to him.

We tried (I looked all over the shelves for the particular brand of cookie; it turns out, we simply do not carry it), but the pill-taker?--just running in doing-nothing-useful mode. He spent zero time looking for the item on his own--just doing his asshole act (and, really well, I might add.)

Children of the Corn

This post is dedicated to one young man whom (I hope) is the exception, rather than the rule.

After I had been at work for a while yesterday, someone pointed out a young man we should be watching: 14 to 15 years old, backpack, pimply. In short, a typical (hungry-looking) mid-teen. (They were worried he was going to shop-lift.) After some time, I thought: who the fuck cares? (well, about any potential shop-lifting.)

We should be concerned about:

• why is he alone and unsupervised during the day?
• why the hunger (the unfed look)

Whinge all you want about a Caylee's law, but to me, this is a real Caylee, because we as a society have seriously failed him. And he deserves better.

Presented as an anectodal story that saddens me.

Moron award

What someone said to me today: Can you do the go-backs (merchandise to be returned to the shelves.) 


Muttered: and don't do them one at a time.


[I nominate this as best of the month, possibly most stupid, venal thing I've heard all year. ;-)]

Reset observation

Reset Crew: a group of people who come in to do a major move of merchandise, usually not part of the regular employees.

Personal observation: reset men and women almost always look and act like a bunch of carnies. They keep to themselves, are generally unfriendly and unsociable--maybe it goes with the territory. After all, they have no opportunity to bond or form long term relationships with anyone except themselves. But they sure are a nasty bunch.

If someone said to me: want to join reset?, I would ask: who I did I piss off. ;-)

Anastasia

This is difficult for me, but I want to get it on record:

A few nights ago, Anastasia and I locked horns. It was not pleasant: I arrived at work, and she announced: I need you to stay up front. I nodded, and proceeded to do what she asked. but it seemed nothing I could do could or would please her.

It wasn't until much later in the evening that I realized: this woman was acting like a bitch (only at this time, and God knows for what reason (I have my suspicions but email me if you want to discuss)--because she could act as a bitch (and wanted to), later in the evening, it was all sweetness and light, as if nothing had happened.))

Is this morally reprehensible? IMHO, you betcha--the reason for this post.

So, Anastasia: Fuck You. Please don't ever give me the chance to return the favor, because I will--in spades.

[Want to know real names?--no problem, just email me. ;-) ]

Inadvertently stupid product names

Bimbo Bread

News

We had a unsuccessful hit-and-run in the parking lot--we prevented him from leaving.

A customer had an apparent stroke (or diabetic event--we don't know) in the store. Emergency was called, and we assume she is OK. I was a little afraid the woman was going to die on me, but even though she was in some distress, it did not appear life-threatening. But, I am not a health care pro.

For the still alive woman, Johnny X and Brian Hood:

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

2010-Feb-05: update: Cathy (the customer) was in the store yesterday, and is doing fine.

The Two Princesses and the Groomsman

A Fairy Tale
Any resemblence to real life people is strict coincidence.

There once were two princesses: there names were Princess Sin and Princess Soak. They endeavored to run the palace as best they could but there was one problem: they constantly picked on a handsome groomsman called Everyman. This harassment puzzled Every, because he was having trouble understanding why they would do this.

He knew Princess Sin had recently emerged from a bad relationship, and he suspected (but he didn't know) she confused him with the person she was trying to break up with. Princess Soak, on the other hand, probably had not been in a relationship in a number of years, and had a weight problem. None of this had anything to do with the groomsman, but he was increasingly convinced that this is what occasionally drove the two ladies.

tbc

"Go'way, lazy old man."

That's what I was told today by a coworker, a;lkjdf;ajfd (name not published, email me if you're interested.) This was the end of a discussion we were having about a problem he had with me not being there when he felt I should be. Instead of talking about it, he chose to call me names, and a particularly insulting one, at that.

So, here's my answer: I hope your father or grandfather are never treated as disrespectfully as I was.

RIP: Alfonso Lopez

(Courtesy Clerk.) He went into the hospital in December, and never came out.

Me and the lady who has no time...

To read this, please ask for an invite in email and then go to the real blog. 

You can simply log in as guest (for 30 days) if you choose, but you still have to have an invite, no matter what.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Hoping you're enjoying it with loved ones.

In the pipeline:

• Two cans of beer and some sundry items
  
• Me and the lady who has no time...
  

The Great Balloon Caper

A Southeast Asian man came in to buy a Christmas balloon. He initially wanted one that was not already blown up (not sure why, I think maybe because he thought one in the package would be better.) After we made sure there were not, we settled on a nice, red, festive one (or so I thought.) Can we put some more gas in it, he asked. Sure, I said, warning him that too much would not be a good thing.

So, we filled it a little more; we verified the price ($7.99 plus tax); and he fiddled with it to make sure it was not leaking. We have to have a way to fill up the thing--there is a little vent hole at the bottom that allows you to fill the balloon occasionally. It self seals, and I have not seen it leak, but he questioned me closely as to its possible leak problem. I said it rarely does, although I did mention that all balloons leak, it's the nature of the beast. Those little helium atoms just naturally slowly get out, and nothing will hold them in (not in a balloon, anyway.)

Therein followed 5 or 6 minutes of close inspection of the balloon, as he searched for leaks and poked and prodded the thing. I thought: he's not going to buy this. But he got on line to pay, and then proceeded to try to put it in a large plastic bag he had brought in with him. The balloon was too big, and we don't have any bags large enough. It was hard for me to see the value of putting it in a bag.

He went outside, and returned. After a while, we determined it deflates slightly when he goes outside. I realized this was probably due to the temperature difference. (It was evening, and somewhat unseasonably cooler outside (45 or 50 degrees versus 70 to 75 inside the store.) I explained, but there was no way I could review (or teach) the physics of gases expanding/compressing in detail. I had already gotten a fair number of blank looks, and that was what I got on the temperature explanation.

We offered to let him return the balloon, and, after a short time, that's what he did. So ended the great balloon caper.

Postscript: here's my take on this: I speak a little Spanish, but just a little, and I cannot follow a fast stream of conversation. If you were to explain something to me, I would first have to ask you to slow down, and then ask you to repeat everything. If listening again did not help, I would ask more questions, and try again. But if it looked like I could not understand (from my point of view,) I would probably eventually thank you and give up. But no blank stares, if avoidable. I know my limitations, and there is no way I could understand a bunch of really different concepts in a second language--which is what frustrated me living the above story. 

English was this man's second language, and probably basic science principles, to make it worse. But I do not know how to make it better, especially in half an hour and over an eight dollar item. ;)

Full Moon Deja Vu

The moon is making us all crazy (some more than others.) 

National treasure: Alma.

--pjm

If you're interested:

Union local (UFCW) news.  Nitty-gritty detail can be found here (if you're not a UFCW union member, it will look very dull.)

Google directed ad's might actually be good for something (I have nothing to do with any of this, so the usual you-get-what-you-pay-for and the web-is-a-network-of-lies warnings apply): 

UFCW Information - UFCWexposed.com - Get information 

on union policy, strikes, contracts, and salaries.

--pjm

Hector's Ears

On a personal note, Hector's ears make me dizzy. He had these plastic spacers inserted into his ear lobes (they look like plastic washers,) and the effect is (unintentional, I'm sure) a little comical. Haven't talked to him about it, and it's a personal bias. My feeling is: do whatever you like to your body; it's yours, not anybody else's.

Nb: Hector is on the night crew, and many of you will never see him, or the ears.

No head explosion, & a mystery visit

Albert kept my head from exploding today when I mentioned while we were moving a heavily loaded Entemann's display table: "my head will explode if we have to move it back." Shortly afterward, Doyle B. showed up, and said, "move it back." Fortunately, Albert asked help from someone else.

Brian L. was in for a manager's meeting yesterday--it sure was a pleasure to see him.

Full Moon Madness

No madness yet, but give it time. Jason M. on vacation, Doyle B. in charge. 

Dennis P is back today; I hope he can work for a while, but Lisa H says his foot is still swollen.

Late news: Dennis is working, and seems to be able to function.